Perfect for Lent

This truly shows how integral Mary is to our Lent.

Hildegard of Bingen

You MUST wikipedia her. She is just fascinating.

Received visions since she was three, playwright, first classical composer to be biographed about, inventer of an alternative alphabet. Etcetera etcetera with the incredibleness.

She also wrote about human sexuality, and the importance of genders in spirituality -- a topic I unknowingly and repeatedly find myself interested in (since I started learning a little of John Paul II's Theology of the Body):

"...When God looked upon the human countenance, God was exceedingly pleased. For had not God created humanity according to the divine image and likeness? Human beings were to announce all God's wondrous works by means of their tongues that were endowed with reason. For humanity is God's complete work.... Man and woman are in this way so involved with each other that one of them is the work of the other. Without woman, man could not be called man; without man, woman could not be named woman. Thus woman is the work of man, while man is a sight full of consolation for woman. Neither of them could henceforth live without the other. Man is in this connection an indication of the Godhead while woman is an indication of the humanity of God's Son."

A sampling of her music:

Lately, I have been finding myself next to woman saints who where headstrong and outspoken. In the first days of my reversion (or conversion, whathaveyou), it was St. Faustina, who had fortitude in her quiet disposition, humbled in the few duties she had so she could give what she had to work for the Divine Mercy devotion. I continued to form my spirituality desiring that quiet disposition (failing often) forgetting the "headstrongness" in her Divine Mercy work.

If you aren't knowing what I mean, I mean lives like Blessed Catherine Emmerich, who was always sick and at home living a quiet life. St. Gemma Galgani, also living a hidden life at home.

In the first days of my faith I wanted to live a hidden life, because I thought that was humble. Though I placed charity work on a high pedestal, I never really gave it second thought for some reason. It seemed to require supernatural strength, strength that was only attainable as a special gift from On High. St. Louise de Marillac, my own Confirmation saint, helped the sick and the poor. A grand example also being Bl. Mother Teresa of Calcutta, kissing leperous sores and carrying living skin and bones. Admirable, but I always glowed at the idea of the cloister, giving all to God first. I didn't think I was able to do much apostolic work and so I formed my spirituality to be hidden. At the same time, it seemed like God valued them more; even though I knew that was definitely not true, I still felt it in the back of my mind....

But mystics like Catherine Emmerich, Gemma Galgani, Faustina Kowalska, their spirituality was of a special mission and required supernatural strength as well. The demonic activity Gemma had to endure, the trials of illness Catherine needed to offer, the intense focus Faustina put into merely loving Christ... these needed grace as those helping the poor.

In other words, apostolic works and a life of prayer are on par with each other. What determines their value is the love of the person living that life.

Lately I've been finding women like St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross (AKA Edith Stein), Hildegard von Bingen, St. Teresa of Avila who were surely outspoken. Oddly enough, these three women were all cloistered. So I'm realizing there isn't anything wrong with exposing yourself through spreading the Gospel, because you really aren't exposing yourself but Christ.

+JMJ+

The End, the Beginning

I had now realized what a waste of space this blog has become. Firstly, because I've been neglecting it. Secondly, because I've been putting it off. Thirdly, because I forgot about it.

But mostly I forgot how I love writing. There. I said it. I love writing.

Maybe because writing in the face of a blinding computer screen for hours is discouraging. Maybe because I don't like the sound of my own written voice. But I realize again and again I should stop wasting time googling dumb and irrelevant things like online versions of the game "brain age" or "what is a zillow?" or my friends' names (or, shamefully, myself).

God gives me too much to waste valuable spiritual information on myself. I have been doing my formation, but I'm failing to share it. I've been stingy. (Just googled the correct spelling of "stingy").

The fact that no one

and I mean NO ONE

reads this blog is not going to detract from this urge to write. God gifted the seeds, it's my job to sow them, and whatever fruits God desires will fruit.

+JMJ+